My Dremel versus Ted Cruz
(ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED during the 2016 presidential race)
As a white suburban female swing voter, I’m part of a hugely-coveted group. But Ted Cruz needs to know that I also have a Dremel…and I’m not afraid to use it.
Let’s talk about one of my sons. Today is his birthday, and he is damned lucky to be celebrating it, having been a wild child later who served as a US Marine in Afghanistan, flying as a heavy-helicopter crew chief in dangerous missions across southern Helmand Province. Today, I should be doing what I always do on my sons’ birthdays: just being happy.
But thanks to Ted Cruz, instead, I’m furious. I’m writing to the people of the United States, because I’m worried about us.
We are being separated into smaller and smaller groups that are ever more bitterly divided against one another. I’ll use some words here: Republican. Democrat. White. Black. Hispanic. Evangelist-Christian. All-Other-Christians. Muslim. Rich. Poor. Old. Young.
It’s not we the people who are the problem. It’s the WORDS.
“We the people” are just you and me and your sister-in-law and the person at the cash register. We agree sometimes, and we disagree sometimes, but we know in some basic instinctive way that we need each other. But when we stick words on others, we stop being people and we become GROUPS.
Groups exist for only two reasons: to work together, or they fight each other. And if you take one whole thing, and divide it up into groups, it’s not as strong. It’s vulnerable.
People use words to divide us up into groups so they can control us. It’s as simple as that.
HERE’S WHY I’M WRITING THIS: Ted Cruz recently claimed [reminder: this blog post was written 2/18/16] that if the Supreme Court becomes less conservative—and I am quoting him verbatim here—“crosses and stars of David [will be] sandblasted off the tombstones of our fallen veterans.”
By whom, may you ask? Cruz did not say. He just inferred, as he is so skilled at doing, that it would be the work of a gang of hateful liberals who in his mind don’t respect Christians and Jews.
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? I’m the mother of a US Marine. That is not happening.
Okay, I had to get that out of my system.
Feeling that strong, intoxicating, addictive, sexy power of rage? Not good. Not good for our country. But oh, so, so tempting.
You know how good rage can feel; to go head to head with that person who used to be your sexy-boyfriend/girlfriend and is now a stupid, lying, cheating spouse. You good drivers, you know how fast you can catch road rage when an @$$hole cuts you off and then acts as if it was your fault. You parents, you know how you want to grind glass in your teeth when your teen stonewalls you and then rolls their eyes at you. You want to be angry.
Anger is more contagious than ebola. You can be the nicest person in the world, and somebody treats you viciously, and in seconds you flash, ready to fight. Anger which comes from made-up, fear-mongering lies is a powerful tool that can be used to manipulate people. Hold that in your mind for a moment.
Back to groups: remember, once you divide people into groups, if they’re not working together, they’re against another group. This is fun in school sports. It is not fun when people who care deeply about how they worship God are manipulated into becoming afraid that their US-Consitution right will be taken away from them.
I am deeply proud of our son’s service in the Marine Corp, as well as the military service of both my father and father-in-law. I am so proud that all three of our sons work hard earning their living, fifty to sixty hours a week. They have gun collections which would appall most ‘liberals’ – stay with me a moment – and, while I fought them on getting guns, I am proud of how careful they are with them. I am proud of the small business my husband and I had that at one time employed seventy people. I am devoted to the church which I have served for thirty years, singing in the choir, offering prayers, hosting events.
Guess what. You’d never know from the stats above, but I’m a friggin’ liberal.
When I heard Senator Cruz imply that people like me – liberals – would condone desecrating the tombstones of fallen veterans, I was beyond angry. I WAS FURIOUS. How dare he compare me to the Taliban, who desecrated churches? How DARE he?
Today is my Marine son’s birthday. Not long ago I mourned at the news of a catastrophic helicopter crash in Hawaii, for the Marines lost and for their loved ones. He came terrifying close to the same fate more than once, and he encountered death often.
In one of the most painful conversations we had about his service in Afghanistan, he described an ‘angel mission’: recovering the bodies of US soldiers killed in battle, some of them by explosions. A container with the soldier’s remains would be handed to him, to be carefully escorted to the base and start the long flight home. “Mom,” he said, his voice choking with emotion. “Mom…some of those boxes were so small.”
Those remains, however few, were precious. They were sent home to loved ones, destined for burial where people could honor and grieve and erect a tombstone marking their life and death.
How dare Ted Cruz use those sacred stones to try and make people angry and afraid?
What to do about it? You can fight fire with fire, but you cannot fight anger with anger; it only makes anger stronger. You cannot fight fear with fear.
I bear no ill will to Rafael Edward Cruz. Should I hate him? No. I must do what I can, peaceably, to help him have new vision. He will be so much more powerful if he stops fearmongering and truly starts working for good.
Ted Cruz, meet Pope Francis. Can you imagine Pope Francis ever saying such an appalling statement?
Our government is a republic. In order for it to run as it is designed, we require a president. We who will elect one are not groups. We are people. Those I love, my extended family and friends, run the gamut from as far right as you can get to as far left. We all feel the same about the ‘what’ our country needs – economic and personal and environmental safety – and we differ wildly on the ‘how’ and sometimes the ‘why’. How can we elect someone we can entrust to take care of all our wildly-differing agendas…not someone who will manipulate us and divide us?
I would offer this: please listen carefully to the candidates. Are they saying things that cause a gut reaction of fear and anger and retaliation? If so, that person is trying to control you with fear.
Do you think things will get better once if you elect a fear-mongering anger-lord, whether he cloaks himself in the name of religion (Cruz) or bullying (Trump)? My friends, be careful. Just as you don’t want Road Rage Guy or your rebellious teenage kid or a maddening former spouse – other individuals who may incite you to respond with rage – just as we don’t want those angry people running our country, do you want to pick as president someone who in your gut causes you to feel less safe, less opportunity…more fear, more anger?
I’ll vote for who I believe has the most integrity and intelligence: an honest, good, smart person. You need all three; any two of those qualities without the other isn’t enough. Of all the candidates, the four I’m watching are Kasich and Bush on the Republican ticket and Sanders and Clinton on the Democratic. I may not agree with all their ideas, but THEY’RE NOT BULLIES…and I think they for the most part have avoided any truly repulsive fearmongering.
Which brings us to my Dremel.
I’m a friggin’ WASP right-to-choose Obama-loving diversity-supporting respect-the-dignity-of-all-human-beings married-to-one-man-for-thirty-plus-years-but-supporting-gay-marriage hard-working woman who just wants to live a quiet anonymous life writing novels and metaphysical non-fiction…but Mr. Cruz started this, and two can play at his game.
The sacred grounds of Arlington and other national cemeteries hold Christians of all denominations as well as Jews. They also hold the remains of veterans who were Muslim, Buddhist, Soka Gakkai, Wiccan, Baha’i, Unitarian, agnostic…and atheist.
If the Political-Religious-Might-Equals-Right ever gets it into their dadblamed heads that being American means ‘only their brand of Christian’ and dares to try and remove ANY symbols from those tombstones…well, you can bet your ass that my Dremel and I will be there to carve ’em right back on…in the name of God the Father, the Virgin Mary, and sweet Jesus Christ, hallelujah, Amen. Because that’s what they’d want.
As someone who understands that we work best as a country working together, not being labeled and divided and used.
As Americans, choosing to not be manipulated by fear.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make a birthday cake.
With fierce, unrelenting love,
Katie